Old Inquisitions never die. They just become lobbies.
Flea Snobbery strays today from its routine, and does so with good reason. And what good reason it is! Ladies and gentlemen, with great pleasure I announce:
Cook Jesus Day!
"Cook Jesus Day?," I hear you wondering. "Qu'est ce que c'est, s'il vous plaît?” Your queries shall be answered, ladies and gentlemen. This the event's Facebook page has to say:
Artist Javier Krahe and TV producer Montserrat Fernández are being tried right now in Madrid. If they're found guilty, they'll have to pay hefty fines: 144,000 euro and 72,000 euro, respectively. Their crime: the television broadcast of a very short film Krahe had made almost thirty years prior, entitled "How to cook a Christ for two people." This trial is possible because of the anachronic article 525 of the Spanish Penal Code, which punishes the offense of religious feelings. This is, in practice, an anti-blasphemy law more typical of theocratic regimes than of any democracy.
An association named Centro Jurídico Tomás Moro (Thomas More Law Center) is the force behind this trial. Driven by a very misconstrued idea of religious freedom, this association strives to silence anyone who won't give deference to their dogma. We intend to show that this is not possible, that in the 21st century these inquisitorial tactics are bound to fail. That demanding respect and using the courts to impose it is the fastest, surest way to lose it.
Therefore, next June 29th, 2012, we will celebrating Cook Jesus Day. We encourage everyone to upload that day a sample of their finest Christic gastronomy: roasted lamb of God, Messiah braised in water turned into wine, Son of Gingerbread Man... Or just a crucifix in a pan. The only limit is imagination.
That's right: Cook Jesus Day intends to harness the Streisand effect as a protest against censorship, against this ludicrous trial and against any attempt at codifying religious duties into secular law.
Do you like the idea? Well, spread it then! Join the Facebook page. Invite your friends and your friends's friends. Tweet about it using the hashtag #CookJesusDay. Discuss it over tea at your backgammon club. If we get this rolling, Cook Jesus Day might become the biggest cuisine blasphématoire event ever!
And that's not all there's to it! Because Flea Snobbery, being Flea Snobbery, will not even respect blasphemy, and wants to make this a part of the celebrations for its upcoming fourth birthday. Consequently, I will pick a few of the dishes displayed and award their creators either a customized avatar or a cameo in this webcomic. That's right: winners will be drawn, either for their own enjoyment and braggadocio at virtual gatherings, or to perform in a cartoon. (Note: I can't guarantee any leading parts. Not even any talking parts.)
How do you like the deal now? Get hand to work, then! Remember: only pieces submitted on June 29th (on the Facebook page or tweeted with the #CookJesusDay hashtag) will be eligible. Winners will be announced on July 3rd. Buona fortuna e buon appetito!