Friday, October 31, 2014

Philosophy

Philosophy

"The first step in the way to wisdom is to ignore the pedantic aphorisms some people make up like they know the way to wisdom."

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Key

Key

"Lock the door and put the key in the potted plant."

"Choose a security question."

"What is the name of your pet?"

Friday, October 24, 2014

Enmity

Enmity

"I warn you: I know where you live, I know where you work, and if you mess with me, I'll kill you. I'm not joking. I swear I'll find you and kill you."

"Hey! What's up, guys?"

"He just threatened to kill me."

"And now you're slandering me!"

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Scandal

Scandal

"It's scandalous that Big Pharma companies are using this epidemic to fatten their purse. Scandalous! So, instead of giving them your business, use my cure-all tonic! It's cheap and effective!"

Friday, October 17, 2014

Masculine

Masculine

MASCULINITY

Standard Pack

Now with 15% more insecurities

Warning: In case of irritation, beat the hell out of the perceived cause.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Cruelty

Cruelty

"Your situation is regrettable, but I don't believe in opening locks. Making people act against their beliefs is cruel."

Friday, October 10, 2014

Traditions

Traditions

"It might be traditional, but it's still stupid."

"I know! But my people has used tradition to justify stupidity for centuries. If we stopped doing it, we'd be betraying our roots!"

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Manners

Manners

"Good afternoon, gentleman. I am letting you know that from now on you will be required to wear this collar and walk on all fours, if you are kind enough."

"Don't listen to him! You are a human being, damn it! Not a dog!"

"He was respectful. You should learn."

"Don't talk, please. Just bark."

Friday, October 3, 2014

Excuse

Excuse

"My window! My TV!"

"Oh, of course! You had to go and find just another excuse to dismiss my arguments out of hand, did you?"